It's Your Fault...er, PHALTS

Ever have one of those days where you’re side-eyeing your inbox and seriously considering moving to the woods? Welp, before making the move consider a quick PHALTS check-in, an updated version of HALT.

You may have heard of HALT, a classic tool from 12 step recovery circles that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - four states that can cloud judgment and lead to impulsive or regrettable decisions. It’s a check-in that helps you discern if your mood has more to do with your brain-body state than the person who cut in line at Costco. It's simple and powerful, and it’s made its way into therapy rooms for decades. But after hearing the same themes pop up with my clients I thought it needed an upgrade. Enter PHALTS, my updated take. It's an essential scan when emotions are running high or when you’re just not feeling quite right.

• P – Am I in Pain? This includes both physical and emotional pain, which often go unacknowledged but can strongly influence how we respond to the world.

• H – Am I Hungry? Our brain-body and emotions are connected. Low fuel or poor nutrition can intensify reactivity.

• A – Am I Annoyed? Unlike full-blown anger, annoyance is subtle and accumulates. Identifying it early can prevent emotional havoc.

• L – Am I Lonely? We are wired for social connection even when we feel we aren't missing out. A moment of connection is sometimes all we need.

• T – Am I Tired? Fatigue can lower our ability to manage emotions and solve problems. Think of a crying baby that's in a mood because it's naptime.

• S – Am I Stressed? Stress from deadlines, transitions, or uncertainty can take up our capacity. Recognizing that can give you the wherewithal to slow down.

Sometimes what feels like a personal fault or failure is really just a case of unmet basic needs. So the next time you're catastrophizing, or ready to go postal on your coworker, or DIYing bangs after a breakup - take a pause to PHALTS yourself before you fault yourself. Your future self will thank you - especially about the bangs.